GRUMPY OLD WIT: THE GREATEST COLLECTION OF GRUMPY WIT EVER ASSEMBLED FROM SOCRATES TO MELDREW (pb)07

GRUMPY OLD WIT: THE GREATEST COLLECTION OF GRUMPY WIT EVER ASSEMBLED FROM SOCRATES TO MELDREW (pb)07 Author: JARSKI ISBN: 0091917838 Publisher: RANDOM HOUSE (UK) Category: GENERAL INTEREST  >-- HUMOR  >-- HUMOR If you think any change in category please advise us Edition: 4 Language: ENGLISH Pages: 464  price 10 $

ABOUT THE TITLE

Do you think the world s going to hell in a handcart? Do you reckon the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train? If the answer is a heartfelt yes you ll feel right at home amongst the malcontents and misanthropes here. Woody Allen W.C. Fields Dorothy Parker Joan Rivers Jo Brand Mark Lamarr and Victor Meldrew are just some of the world-class curmudgeons to sound-off hilariously about all the things that make you seethe: traffic wardens cold callers caravans James Blunt estate agents other drivers being put on hold men in flip-flops and modern art. With over 4 000 entries this is the most comprehensive collection of grumpiness there has ever been. As for you Pollyannas who persist in looking for silver linings despite dire weather warnings isn t it about time you woke up and smelt the rancid coffee? Cast off those rose-tinted spectacles climb on board the handcart and fasten your seatbelts: it s going to be one hell of a grumpy ride. AUTHOR: Rosemarie Jarski is a screenwriter dividing her time between Britain and the States. Her other quotations books include The Funniest Thing You Never Said Great British Wit A Word from the Wise Wrinklies Wit and Wisdom Wisecracks and Hollywood Wit. She has also written a spoof guide to How to Be A Celebrity.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction GRUMPY LIFE Problems Sadness & depression Futility & apathy Days Disappointment Boredom Loneliness Stress & Anxiety Worry Luck Optimism & pessimism Fear Paranoia Suicide Psychoanalysis Happiness Life & living GRUMPY CHARACTER Hate Pet hates Overrated things Anger Argument Insults Threats & curses Swearing Cruelty Schadenfreude Grudge & forgiveness Manner & etiquette Punctuality Ego Class & snobbery Race & prejudice Success Failure Advice GRUMPY RELATIONSHIPS People Mankind Gender Friends Enemies Men Women Battle of the sexes Attraction Compliment Kiss Sex Dating Romance Love Marriage Remarriage Cheating Divorce GRUMPY HOME & FAMILY Family-Planning & Children Family Mother Father Relatives Mother in law Home housework GRUMPY WORK & MONEY Work Business Advertising Money Tax Rich Credit & debt Poor Charity Gift Meanness GRUMPY TRANSPORT & TRAVEL Transport- General Car Train Cruise Aeroplane Travel & Tourism Hotel Countries- General England Scotland America- general America- places GRUMPY SPORT & LEISURE Sport & games- general Cricket Football Golf Tennis Hobbies & leisure Club Gambling Shopping Holidays Christmas New year Party GRUMPY NATURE Animals- general Dog Cat Nature Garden Weather The environment GRUMPY ART & ENTERTAINMENT Art & culture Architecture Music- general Popular music Classical music Hollywood & film Musical Theatre Actors & acting Fame & Celebrity Awards The media Television Comedy Heckles Critics GRUMPY COMMUNICATION Names Words & grammar Language Communication Gossip Telephone Customer service Writer Books Diary Poetry Journalism Interview Public speaking GRUMPY SOCIETY & POLITICS history Progress Civilization Royalty Power Democracy Election Government Politics- general The house of lords Margaret Thatcher Politics- American George W Bush Political Oratory Political Insults Terrorism War Violence Crime- General Murder Police Punishment Law & lawyers GRUMPY SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY Science- general Astronomy Technology Computer Internet Universal laws GRUMPY BODY General appearance Fashion & dress Hair Personal hygiene Beauty & ugliness Cosmetic surgery Health & medicine Disability Drugs Addiction Alcohol Drunk & hangover Teetotal Smoking Food & drink- general Vegetarian Restaurant Weight Diet Exercise Youth Age & ageing Retirement Death Funeral & epitaph GRUMPY MIND & SOUL Education College Intelligence Truth & lies Right & wrong Good & bad Morals & ethics Philosophy Beliefs Astrology God & the devil Religion- general Christianity Bible Catholic Jew Muslim Immortality Hell Heaven Time The world The meaning of life index